i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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