She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
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Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
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It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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