Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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