i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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