i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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