no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize