There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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