ugly people sure do ruin things
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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