At least make sure they are 18
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family