During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.