Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
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I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
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Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.