And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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