Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
