He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
