Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize