i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
