he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
