i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
