i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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