Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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