I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
sex in a hospital.. check
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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