It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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