dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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