i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
