You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
