You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
farters have to be the big spoon...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
