Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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