Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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