Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
