Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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