I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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