fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Someone shit on the floor
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
