Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
