WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
