She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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