Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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