what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
