my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize