I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
