Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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