I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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