sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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