i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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