Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
