i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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