the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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