i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize