I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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