Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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