She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
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Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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