The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
