How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dignity is for republicans.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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