Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
