David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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