mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize