I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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