Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
