32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
