Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
