just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
