Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
