I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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