You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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