Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yo dont text me then not text me
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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