She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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